You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
