hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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