Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
