My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
