haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Just invented taco cereal.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
