do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
