i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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