i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
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