Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
