Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
