Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
