with your own penis?
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
