I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
