all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
