If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize