Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
What drink are we having for lunch?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
