a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
