This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
