i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
