I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
They are going to name an STD after you.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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