Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
