So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
