just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
