do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
