didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
