totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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