Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
