Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize