You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
