So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
