there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
