His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
