i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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