the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Randomize