So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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