is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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