OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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