I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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