smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
