I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
