we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
