i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
