GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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