Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
