1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
