The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
