i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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