Are we in a gay sports bar?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
