They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
