So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize