you turned your livingroom into a bong?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
