Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Two words: nipple clamps
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