it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
