Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
