I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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