its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
