whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
