she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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