Jerry, you need to find god
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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