whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
