I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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