I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
