talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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