yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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