we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
