so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
