forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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