and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
