I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
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