no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
